Paul

I was going to blog about the paranormal, as always, but instead, let me introduce you to my brother-in-law, Paul.

My husband Jim is eight years younger than his next sibling, and that would be Paul. I first met this older brother back in 1976, I think. At that time, Jim and I were getting serious with our relationship, and though there was all kinds of family craziness around us then, Paul did tell me the first time we met face-to-face that he liked me.

After Jim and I married and started our own family, Paul and his wife Jan (and daughter Michelle) were very good to us. They babysat for us, they invited us to family dinner every Christmas Eve, including a church service for the holiday, had us over for various dinners, volunteered Michelle to hang out with our children, the whole bit. They lived a few 'burbs over and we were all busy, but we got together several times a year. And every year when I sent out our kids' school photos, Jan displayed them on the frame of her mirror.

I guess we can stray a little into the paranormal here. Jim told me that Paul had, well, a bit of the shine, as Stephen King would put it. Jim told me that he once took a deck of cards and played the "what card am I holding?" game with Paul, and that his brother named each card correctly for about five or six cards in a row before stopping. That's against the odds entirely, so I I think Jim is right about that shine. Besides, his brother was always extraordinarily lucky at casinos!

Michelle grew up, got married, and moved to North Carolina with her husband and daughter. Jan, being the devoted grandmother that she is, decided that she and Paul would move to North Carolina too, since they were retired and wanted to be close. After that, our visits became a lot less frequent, but we were in touch. We called, we exchanged cards, we emailed, we even visited on occasion.They all came back for my daughter Kelsey's wedding some years ago.

So this morning, Jim got the phone call letting him know that Paul had passed away in his sleep last night. Although he had been struggling with health issues for some time, his death was still unexpected. I'm writing this in a bit of a fog, actually, because it seems very odd to have this person missing, to have this sudden hole in the fabric of my life. And of course my thoughts center on Jan and Michelle, and on Jim and his other siblings. I lost a brother a while ago. There's nothing that ever fills that gap, nothing that ever smooths over the loss of that part of childhood.

But it helps to write about it, so thank you for bearing with me. When I think of Paul, I will always think of his really mischievous smile, his laugh, and his sense of humor. He was one in a million and I'm lucky to have had him in my life.